A Fobbit, a Donkey, a MRE and a Soldier

An Army Fobitt is some who never ventures out the wire has many more perks and food choices compared to the frontlines soldier.

FOBBIT \’fä-bit\, noun. Definition: A U.S. soldier stationed at a Forward Operating Base who avoids combat by remaining at the base, esp. during Operation Iraqi Freedom (2003-2011)

Did you know the MRE was adopted as the Department of Defense combat ration in 1975? A large-scale production test began in 1978 with delivery in 1981. MRE I (1981) was the first date of pack. For any of you that have eaten them for extended periods of time two things happen; you hate Fobbits for life 2) your poops are never the same.

The MRE Chronicles

Ah, the infamous MRE—Meals Ready to Eat, or as some might say, “Meals Rejected by Everyone.” The Department of Defense officially adopted these bad boys in 1975, and by 1981, MRE I was hitting soldiers’ stomachs like a brick… literally. Now, for any of you who have had the joy (or trauma) of eating MREs for extended periods, you know there are two undeniable truths:

1) You will develop an irrational hatred for Fobbits (those lovely folks who get fresh food at the Forward Operating Base while you’re out in the field), and

2) Your bowel movements? Yeah, they’re never the same.

You see, MREs have a magical way of introducing soldiers to a whole new digestive rhythm. It’s like your body goes on strike, saying, “You know what? If this is what you’re feeding me, I’m taking a few days off.” And when it finally decides to clock back in… well, let’s just say it’s an experience that makes you question your life choices.

But hey, at least MREs come with a side of nostalgia—and by nostalgia, I mean vivid memories of that one time you ate three cheese tortellini MREs in a row and had to pray to the gods of fiber for mercy. So, cheers to the MRE! The real combat zone was always in the latrine.

The Frontlines

Check out the awesome selection of military-themed shirts, mugs, and posters at The Frontlines Shop—and don’t miss all the great stuff we’ve got on sale right now! Plus, believe it or not, some of the comics I whipped up during my 20-year military career have actually been published! These funny and sometimes edgy reflections are inspired by amazing mentors, great friends, and a deep appreciation for sarcasm. You can find them on Amazon The Frontlines