Platoon Leader Smarts

Platoon-leader

True story of an Army platoon leader who some suspect made it through flight school because their daddy was a General.

Flight School or Family Ties? The Tale of Lieutenant ‘Chopper Thingy

It didn’t take long for the rumor to spread through the platoon. Lieutenant Thompson, fresh out of flight school, was an interesting character—smooth as butter, but with the situational awareness of a garden gnome. The first clue something was off was when he tried to brief a mission and ended up calling an Apache helicopter a “chopper thingy.” That was strike one.

The speculation started buzzing: How did this guy make it through flight school? Then someone dropped the bombshell—his dad was a general. Suddenly, it all made sense. The “chopper thingy” line? General’s kid privilege. The fact that his landings looked like he was trying to recreate the Hindenburg disaster? Daddy must have pulled some serious strings.

“Must be nice,” Sergeant Lopez muttered during one particularly dicey mission, as the LT accidentally called in the wrong grid coordinates and nearly sent the platoon off course. “Flying through flight school while the rest of us had to, you know, earn it.”

One day, the platoon had enough. They all huddled up before a mission and hatched a plan. They decided to let LT Thompson take the lead for the day while making bets on how long it would take him to get lost in the desert.

Sure enough, 20 minutes into the flight, Thompson veered off course and led the entire platoon into what looked suspiciously like the wrong side of the border. The only thing more awkward than that navigation mistake was when he tried to call it in over the radio, and instead of proper coordinates, he gave the GPS location for his dad’s favorite golf course.

“Sir,” one of the crew chiefs said, trying not to laugh, “maybe you should just let Sergeant Lopez handle the navigation from now on.”

The LT gave a sheepish nod, and just like that, the platoon went back to business. The only thing they never figured out was whether Thompson really earned his wings or if he just had the best family connection since the invention of the nepotism handbook. Either way, they made sure he stayed as far away from the controls as possible.

After all, they didn’t want to test their theory on whether Daddy could save them mid-flight.

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