A lot has been going on over the past 18 years and it is taking its toll on the military. The army failed to recruit 80,000 needed service members, but hey just mark C to fix it.Is it really that easy?

The Great ASVAB ‘C’ Strategy: Army Recruiting Gets Creative

It was a dark time for Army recruiters. The shiny posters promising “Adventure, Camaraderie, and Travel!” weren’t pulling in the numbers they used to. Even the classic hook of “Free College!” barely got a glance from the TikTok generation. These kids just weren’t buying it.

Sergeant First Class Jenkins, a recruiter with over a decade of persuading teenagers to swap their video game consoles for M16s, was stressed. He had quotas to meet, and the boss wasn’t going to accept “kids these days just don’t want to run” as an excuse anymore.

One day, while staring at a half-eaten doughnut and the stack of unfilled enlistment papers, Jenkins had an idea—an idea that could change the game.

“Guys,” he said, waving his fellow recruiters over. “I think I’ve cracked the code.”

Staff Sergeant Davis, leaning on the doorframe, raised an eyebrow. “What now, Jenkins? More free sunglasses? Promise them jetpacks? We already told that last group we’d let them play Call of Duty in real life.”

Jenkins smirked. “Better. We tell them to just mark C on the ASVAB.”

Dead silence.

“Come again?” Specialist Rivera asked, mid-sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, think about it,” Jenkins continued. “The ASVAB is tough, right? Math, science, mechanics… These kids don’t have the attention span for that! But if we tell them there’s a secret trick—if they just mark C for every answer, it boosts their score! They’ll ace it, no problem!”

Davis blinked. “That’s… the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Or the most brilliant,” Jenkins shot back. “Look, no one actually knows how the ASVAB is scored, right? I mean, half the soldiers in this office couldn’t pass it if they took it again today. We just need bodies, and the more we get, the better it looks for us. We convince them C is the magic letter, they do it, we get a full recruitment class, and nobody’s the wiser!”

Rivera scratched his head. “But wouldn’t they just fail?”

“Nah, man,” Jenkins waved his hand dismissively. “The Army’s always looking for a way to get more warm bodies. You think they’re really going to turn away a potential soldier because they think ‘photo synthesis’ is something you order at Starbucks? No way. We’ll get them in.”

A Week Later…

A week later, Jenkins and his team had their biggest group of potential recruits sitting in a classroom, pencils in hand, staring down at the daunting ASVAB test booklets. Jenkins stood at the front, his usual “you can do this” pep talk replaced by something more… unconventional.

“Alright, listen up!” he barked. “This test? Total joke. You’re not going to learn squat from it, and neither is the Army. But, I’m gonna give you a tip. Just mark ‘C.’ That’s right, fellas. Circle C for every single question. Trust me—it’s like a cheat code. You’ll pass with flying colors, and we’ll get you into basic training before you can say ‘hooah.’”

The recruits stared at him, wide-eyed, as if he’d just handed them the Holy Grail of laziness. One brave soul raised his hand. “Sergeant, are you sure? What if I actually know some of the answers?”

“Kid,” Jenkins said with a grin, “knowing stuff is overrated. The real test in the Army is how much stupid stuff you can handle. This? This is just your first challenge. Mark C and be done with it. You’ll thank me later.”

Fast Forward…

Fast forward two weeks, and Jenkins’ office was buzzing. The results were in. Jenkins had been walking around like he’d won the lottery, confident that his “C strategy” had solved his recruiting woes. He imagined himself giving a TED Talk on innovative recruiting techniques.

But then, the phone rang.

It was the ASVAB testing center.

“Sergeant Jenkins,” the voice on the other end said, with a tone so dry you could hear the disdain. “We’ve got an entire batch of tests here where every single answer is ‘C.’”

Jenkins chuckled nervously. “Oh, really? What are the odds?”

“Exactly zero, Sergeant. It’s like you ran a recruitment drive at a convention for people who can’t read.”

“Look, uh, is that a problem? I mean, they got some of them right, didn’t they?”

The voice sighed. “Out of the 200 recruits you sent through, 195 scored a perfect zero on half the sections. Five of them, though—bizarrely—managed to pass.”

Jenkins perked up. “Five! Hey, that’s not bad. I’ll take those odds!”

“Sergeant,” the voice continued, “One of them thought ‘photosynthesis’ was a new photo app for editing selfies.”

Jenkins gulped. “Uh… so what now?”

“Well,” the voice replied with a tinge of amusement, “we’re still processing the scores, but I’ve got good news for you. Turns out, as long as they can tie their boots and vaguely follow orders, they’ll still make it through basic.”

Jenkins leaned back in his chair, a smile creeping across his face. “So… we’re good?”

The voice sighed. “For now, Sergeant. But if you try that ‘C’ trick again, we’ll make sure your next assignment is the recruiting office in Antarctica.”

Jenkins hung up the phone, wiped the sweat from his brow, and turned to Rivera and Davis. “Gentlemen, I’d say Operation ‘Just Mark C’ was a resounding success.”

Rivera chuckled. “Well, at least the Army gets what it pays for.”

“Exactly,” Jenkins said, reclining in his chair. “And remember—when in doubt, just mark C.”

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