Aviation joke about Three things you do not want to hear in the cockpit of any military or civilian aircraft. These things said normally happen right before an accident happens. These are just some of the many things one does not want to hear in the aircraft. It is sort of like “Oh ye of little faith” comment by an Army Apache pilot flying under telephone wires at night right prior to hitting one. Some things you just don’t want to say or test fate with. What are other bad things to hear in the cockpit?

3 things not to hear in the cockpit

There are three things you never want to hear in the cockpit of any military or civilian aircraft. They’re not just ominous, but practically a guarantee that something’s about to go terribly wrong. It’s like hearing, “Hold my beer” at a family reunion—whatever comes next isn’t good.

Picture this: you’re an Army Apache pilot, cruising through the night on a mission. You’re confident, maybe a little too confident, flying low, dodging telephone wires like you’re in an aviation rodeo. That’s when you hear your co-pilot mutter, “Oh ye of little faith,” right before the chopper smacks into the wires with a stomach-churning thwack.

That’s when it hits you—some things are better left unsaid, especially in the air.

So, what are some other things you never want to hear in a cockpit?

1. “What does this button do?” If someone says this, it’s time to brace yourself. Because that’s usually followed by the entire instrument panel lighting up like a Christmas tree, alarms blaring, and the aircraft making moves it definitely wasn’t designed for. There’s nothing like an unscheduled nosedive to really get the adrenaline going!

2. “Is it supposed to make that sound?” Oh, the joy of mystery noises. That grinding, whirring, or ominous clunk from somewhere deep in the bowels of the aircraft—especially when no one’s quite sure what’s causing it. If you’re lucky, it’s just a loose panel. If you’re unlucky, it’s something more important, like the landing gear. And, you know, landing’s kinda important.

3. “I thought you had the controls!” This is the big one. You’re flying along, everything’s cool, then suddenly, panic sets in as both pilots realize that neither of them is actually flying the plane. It’s a moment of pure terror, followed by frantic scrambling and the sudden sensation that gravity is no longer your friend.

In both military and civilian aviation, these phrases are the stuff of nightmares. It’s not that you don’t want to hear them—it’s that when you do, you know you’re about five seconds away from being the star of a very embarrassing investigation report.

So next time you’re in a cockpit, just keep it cool and remember: silence is golden—unless that silence is followed by a clunk. Then, you’re on your own!

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