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Paratrooper , is Army humor of a Paratrooper first jump out of a military aircraft. Hope his parachute canopy opens, if not he will hopefully get a chance to try again! Airborne Ranger!

” If you make one jump in a year, your chance of dying is 1 in 100,000. The 19 that died in 2012 were from an elite Airborne Regiment in the Army…they realized afterward not to buy parachutes from China ” – Dr. Knowitall

Paratrooper’s Private First Class Johnny Hayes first jump

Private First Class Johnny Hayes stood at the open door of the C-130 Hercules, the roaring wind whipping against his face. He was about to make his first parachute jump, and despite the weeks of rigorous training, he felt his heart pounding in his chest like a jackhammer. Beside him, Sergeant Thompson, a grizzled veteran with a perpetual smirk, noticed the young private’s nervousness.

“Feeling a little jumpy, Hayes?” Thompson shouted over the deafening noise of the engines. The pun was intentional, and the surrounding paratroopers chuckled.

Johnny managed a weak smile. “Just a bit, Sergeant.”

Thompson clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, kid. It’s just like jumping out of your mom’s attic window, except there’s no ground to hit right away. And remember, it’s not the fall that gets you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.”

The Joke

The joke did little to calm Johnny’s nerves, but he appreciated the attempt. The light above the door turned green, and Thompson barked, “Go, go, go!” One by one, the paratroopers leaped into the void.

Johnny took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and stepped out into the sky. The sensation was unlike anything he had ever experienced—pure, exhilarating freedom mixed with sheer terror. He counted to three and yanked the ripcord. His parachute deployed with a reassuring whoosh, and he felt the sudden tug as it caught the air.

As he drifted down, Johnny opened his eyes and looked around. The view was breathtaking. Below him, his fellow paratroopers were descending like giant dandelion seeds. He let out a whoop of joy, the fear melting away into excitement.

He noticed Thompson descending nearby, grinning like a madman. The sergeant made a comical swimming motion with his arms, pretending to paddle through the air. Johnny couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the camaraderie that came with shared absurdity.

Drop Zone

As they neared the drop zone, Johnny focused on his landing. He bent his knees, prepared for the impact, and hit the ground with a surprisingly graceful roll. Johnny quickly stood up, dusted himself off, and looked around. He had done it—his first jump was a success.

Thompson landed a few moments later, trotting over with a broad smile. “Not bad, Hayes! You looked like you almost knew what you were doing.”

Johnny grinned, feeling a surge of pride. “Thanks, Sergeant. I think I might just survive this after all.”

Thompson winked. “Just remember, Hayes: the Army doesn’t make paratroopers because it’s easy. They do it because it’s funny to watch you newbies flop around like fish out of water.”

The rest of the squad gathered around, swapping stories and ribbing each other. Johnny felt a sense of belonging he hadn’t known before. As the sun set on the drop zone, he realized that the humor and camaraderie of his fellow soldiers were just as crucial to survival as the training.

And as they headed back to base, Johnny couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. He had joined the Army to find adventure, and he was quickly learning that the best adventures were the ones where you could laugh at yourself along the way.

The Frontlines

It is hard to believe but they published some of the comics I drew during my 20 year military career! These humorous musings may make you laugh or offend others, but are the result of awesome mentors, great buddies and a deep appreciation for sarcastic humor. Check it out here on Amazon The Frontlines

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