Army Attack King Kong. Ever have an awesome dream about AH-64 Apache Helicopters attacking King Kong on the Empire State building? going only to have it interrupted by your alarm clock? Take the power back and hit the snooze button! Note, a hatchet works really well.

Attack of King Kong… and the Alarm Clock

There I was, living the dream—literally. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to be in the middle of an epic showdown, flying an AH-64 Apache helicopter, attacking none other than King Kong on top of the Empire State Building? It was the kind of stuff that action movie posters are made of, but with way more explosions and far fewer physics.

The scene was perfect. Kong was there, giant hairy arms swatting at helicopters like they were mosquitoes, and I was in the pilot’s seat, feeling like Tom Cruise in Top Gun but cooler. My copilot was barking orders—something about weapons systems and targeting—but I was too busy looking awesome to care. We lined up for the perfect shot, missile locked, and I was just about to pull the trigger…

…and then the alarm clock went off. That miserable, beeping, soul-crushing sound yanked me out of my high-octane Kong-smashing fantasy and dropped me squarely into the real world, where my job was significantly less exciting than taking down skyscraper-sized gorillas.

I blinked, confused, half expecting to still see Kong’s fist coming at me. Nope. Just the sight of my bedroom ceiling, the soft glow of the alarm clock mocking me from the nightstand.

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t ready to give up that dream. I had a job to finish, and Kong still had it coming. So, I did what any rational person would do—I took the power back. I reached over, slapped the snooze button like it owed me money, and closed my eyes.

Five more minutes, Kong. Five more minutes.

Except the alarm clock, in all its infinite evil, wasn’t done with me. After exactly seven minutes of blissful Apache-fueled chaos, the alarm went off again. That’s when I realized something: this wasn’t just an ordinary dream versus real-life situation. This was war. And like any good soldier in the Army, I was prepared to fight back.

I tried the classic technique of slapping the snooze button harder. Didn’t work. The clock was relentless, beeping like it was trying to give orders now. But I wasn’t going down without a fight. Kong needed me!

That’s when I spotted it—my trusty hatchet. You see, I keep a hatchet by the bed for, you know, emergencies (don’t ask). And this was an emergency. I figured if I couldn’t win the battle in the dream world, I’d at least take down the enemy in the real one. The alarm clock had to go.

Grabbing the hatchet, I sat up in bed, took aim at the offending piece of technology, and—whack! A satisfying thunkechoed through the room as the clock stopped dead in its tracks. Silence. Glorious, sweet silence.

For a moment, I basked in the victory. The clock was dead, the beeping had ceased, and Kong was still waiting for me at the top of the Empire State Building. I closed my eyes, ready to dive back into the action, but then the faintest, most annoying thing happened—the sun started creeping through the curtains. It was morning.

No Kong, no Apaches, just me, my ruined alarm clock, and the realization that I had obliterated the very thing that was supposed to wake me up for work.

But you know what? Worth it. Totally worth it. Sure, I may have been late that day, but at least in the alternate universe of my dreams, King Kong never stood a chance against my Apache.

So, the next time your alarm clock rudely interrupts your epic dream where you’re taking down a giant gorilla, remember this: hit snooze, or if that fails, grab a hatchet. Because some battles are worth fighting, even if they’re only in your sleep.

The End

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