Army humor of a soldier sleeping on the military shooting range. This is a true story and funny joke about a pilot named “Little Bob”. Surprisingly he actually hit the target quite a bit…much better than Scotty!
” There are approximately 6,988 shooting ranges in the United States, and total revenue exceeded $1 billion in 2018.”
– Dr. Knowitall
The Legend of Private Snooze: A Firing Range Fiasco
Meet Private Snooze, the soldier who redefined the meaning of “rest and relaxation” on the firing range. In the annals of military lore, his story is a cautionary tale filled with humor, a touch of embarrassment, and a whole lot of snoring.
It all started on a typical Monday morning – the kind where even your coffee needs coffee. The squad assembled at the firing range, ready to sharpen their marksmanship skills. Well, most of them were ready. Private Snooze, however, was still mentally wrapped in his warm bed back at the barracks. After a weekend of duty shifts, cleaning details, and a particularly intense game of midnight poker, he was running on empty.
As the morning sun climbed higher, the rhythmic sounds of rifles discharging filled the air. Amidst this cacophony, Private Snooze found a moment of tranquility. Nestled prone on his mat, rifle at the ready, he decided to “rest his eyes” while waiting for his turn. Little did he know, this brief respite would turn into an epic nap.
Minutes turned into what felt like hours, and Private Snooze drifted deeper into sleep. His snores soon harmonized with the gunfire, creating a bizarre symphony of war and peace. His squadmates, initially confused, soon found themselves stifling laughter as they realized what was happening.
Sarge, the grizzled veteran running the range, noticed the snoring over the crackling of rifle shots. Marching over with the silent fury of a cat stalking a mouse, he stood over the slumbering soldier. A few taps on Snooze’s helmet with a range safety rod did nothing to rouse him. Finally, Sarge leaned down and bellowed, “PRIVATE SNOOZE, ARE YOU DREAMING OF YOUR TARGETS?”
Private Snooze jolted awake, his eyes wide and confused. He fumbled with his rifle, trying to remember where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. The squad roared with laughter, while Sarge gave him a look that could wilt a cactus. “Congratulations, Snooze,” Sarge said dryly. “You’ve just qualified for nap of the year.”
Private Snooze’s impromptu nap became the stuff of legend. It earned him a new call sign: “Rip Van Rifleman.” While he didn’t live it down for quite some time, he took the ribbing in stride, knowing he’d provided his comrades with a much-needed laugh in the middle of their rigorous training.
In the end, the lesson was clear: stay alert on the firing range, unless you want to become the next legend like Private Snooze. And always remember, a good night’s sleep is a soldier’s secret weapon – preferably not on duty, and definitely not on the firing range.
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