Atheists in foxholes

Do you think there are atheists in foxholes? For anyone who has actually served in combat, it is doubtful, but you never know.

Interesting fact according to the Pew Religious Landscape survey as of 2014, 22.8% of the U.S. population is religiously unaffiliated, atheists made up 3.1% and agnostics made up 4% of the U.S. population.

Source: Dr. Knowitall

And yet another story by Dr. Knowitall:

Atheist in a Foxhole: Fact-Checked and Funny

They say there are no atheists in foxholes, but I’m here to tell you that’s not just an urban myth—it’s a hilarious reality. Imagine me, the token atheist in our platoon, crouched in a muddy foxhole with my comrades, each clutching their rifles and various religious symbols. While they were muttering prayers, I was fact-checking reality with a skeptical grin.

Fact #1: Atheists Don’t Panic Pray

When the mortar shells start falling, my buddies go into full prayer mode, muttering to every deity they can think of. Me? I start calculating the probability of surviving based on our training and equipment. Sure, it’s not as comforting as divine intervention, but hey, logic is my security blanket.

Fact #2: No Prayers Means More Focus

While others might be silently negotiating with higher powers, I’m hyper-focused on the task at hand. Clearing my mind of cosmic negotiations, I can concentrate on the immediate problem: staying alive. This focus helps me notice the small but crucial details, like the sound of an enemy’s footfall or the direction of incoming fire.

Fact #3: Humor is My Holy Grail

Laughter truly is the best medicine, especially in a foxhole. When the tension gets unbearable, I crack a joke: “Why did the atheist cross the foxhole? To get to the rational side!” My humor might not win me a divine blessing, but it sure lightens the mood and keeps us all sane.

Fact #4: Atheist Superpower—Adaptability

With no divine script to follow, I’m all about adaptability. When plans go awry, I don’t look up to the sky; I look around for solutions. It’s all about quick thinking and flexibility, which, let’s face it, is a pretty handy skill when you’re dodging bullets.

Fact #5: Science Saves

When everyone else is clutching their lucky charms, I’m the guy checking our equipment, ensuring our radios work, and making sure our foxhole’s defenses are solid. Science and practical knowledge are my guiding stars, and they’ve got me this far.

So, there you have it. Atheists do exist in foxholes, and we bring a unique blend of skepticism, humor, and practical thinking to the front lines. We might not be praying for miracles, but we’re certainly counting on our wits and training to get us through. And who knows, maybe there’s a bit of divine comedy in that after all.

The Frontlines

It is hard to believe but they published some of the comics I drew during my 20 year military career! These humorous musings may make you laugh or offend others, but are the result of awesome mentors, great buddies and a deep appreciation for sarcastic humor. Check it out here on Amazon The Frontlines

Incredible selection of military related shirts, mugs, and posters on The Frontlines shop, and check out all of our stuff that is on sale right now. The Frontlines Shop

Popular Products