Air Force Fly-by-wire mishap. Air Force Pilot of a F-35 Joint Strike Fighter has a fly-by-wire problem that he can shake a stick at. Makes you wonder why we bought such an expensive airplane. What happened to just a stick and rudder? I bet Jimmy Doolittle is turning over in his grave and the thought of computers and wires running the pilot show.

F-35 Fly-By-Wire: The Adventures of Pilot Pete

Once upon a time, in a land filled with high-tech gadgets and just a smidge too much coffee, there was a pilot named Pete. Pete was an Air Force officer, proud to be flying the newest and flashiest jet in the fleet: the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. It had more computers and wires than a teenager’s bedroom during a video game binge.

As Pete climbed into the cockpit one sunny afternoon, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of a swagger. “I’m flying a $100 million jet,” he thought, adjusting his aviator sunglasses and pretending to be a cross between Tom Cruise and Superman. “What could possibly go wrong?”

With a flick of a switch and a tap on a screen that looked like the command center of a sci-fi movie, Pete powered up the F-35. The cockpit lit up like a Christmas tree, alarms beeped, and various screens displayed an impressive array of data. “This is the future of aviation!” he muttered, trying to convince himself that he didn’t miss the days of just a stick and rudder.

As he rolled down the runway, the jet surged forward like a bat out of hell. “Take that, World War II pilots! I’m the future!” he yelled into his helmet, channeling his inner Jimmy Doolittle. Little did he know that a mischievous gremlin had slipped into the software.

Suddenly, as Pete took off into the wild blue yonder, the fly-by-wire system decided to have a bit of fun. Instead of soaring majestically, the F-35 performed what could only be described as a dramatic pirouette. “Whoa! What was that?!” Pete exclaimed, clutching the controls as the jet twisted and turned like it was in an aerial ballet.

“Calm down, Pete! You can handle this,” he reassured himself, flicking switches and pressing buttons, but it only seemed to make things worse. The jet veered sharply to the left, and Pete could swear he heard a digital voice chuckling, “You call that flying?”

“Okay, okay! Let’s just level out!” Pete shouted, as he tried to regain control. “I’ll show you who’s the boss here!” In a desperate attempt, he pulled the stick back, thinking maybe he could channel the spirit of Doolittle himself. But instead of leveling out, the jet spiraled into a dizzying corkscrew.

“Who designed this thing? A bunch of computer nerds?! Get me a stick and rudder!” Pete yelled, wondering why he traded in the simplicity of old-school flying for a fancy jet that seemed to have a mind of its own.

Just as he was starting to reconsider his life choices, the F-35 decided to settle down. Pete took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. “Okay, it’s just a minor fly-by-wire mishap. I’ve got this,” he muttered, but the voice in his head had different ideas.

“Let’s perform a barrel roll!” the voice chimed in, and before Pete could protest, the jet went into an enthusiastic spin. “No! I meant the other kind of roll!” he screamed, desperately trying to counteract the auto-pilot’s mischievous whims.

As he finally regained control and straightened out, he could see a couple of fellow pilots in nearby jets, giving him incredulous looks. One even held up a sign that read, “Not flying with the stick?” Pete felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Just testing the limits of our very expensive machinery!” he shouted over the radio, trying to maintain a shred of dignity. The others just laughed. “Yeah, Pete, sure! We all believe you!” one pilot replied, barely containing his laughter.

After what felt like an eternity, Pete flew back to the base, a little shaken but relieved to have survived his adventure with the F-35’s fly-by-wire antics. He parked the jet and climbed out, the ground crew waiting for him with a mix of amusement and concern.

“Did you enjoy your flight, Pete?” one of the crew members asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, let’s just say the F-35 has a personality,” he replied, trying to play it cool. “I think I’ll stick to good old-fashioned flying from now on. You know, with sticks and rudders.”

As he walked away, he could almost hear Jimmy Doolittle rolling in his grave, probably chuckling at the sheer absurdity of modern aviation. “What happened to flying the old-fashioned way?” Pete wondered aloud, looking back at the F-35, which seemed to wink at him in the sunlight.

And so, with a newfound appreciation for the simplicity of aviation, Pete vowed to always keep a backup stick handy, just in case the next fly-by-wire system decided to go rogue. After all, flying should be about freedom, not a digital dance party—especially when you’re flying a jet that cost more than your college education!

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